


Dealings with Gremlins

by ChroniclesOfJan



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Gremlins, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm trying my best, Inktober 2020, Orcs, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, POV First Person, POV Original Character, POV Original Female Character, Radio, Random & Short, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26830738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChroniclesOfJan/pseuds/ChroniclesOfJan
Summary: After adding the orc Argnuk to her quest to document the different Creatures of the Wood, Amethyst thought her adventure was well underway. Argnuk, arguing that she really is a stupid human, decided to make a pitstop before journeying on.
Collections: Inktober 2020 - Fantasy Type





	Dealings with Gremlins

**Author's Note:**

> Inktober Day 4: Radio
> 
> Hey guys, I'm still really new to AO3 and am beyond awkward about actually posting my work, but I hope I can make you guys smile. Enjoy!

Argnuk and I had been traveling through the woods for a few days at this point. The orc made sure to point out as often as he could how stupid of a human I must be to have unknowingly wandered into orc territory without any sort of orc to keep me safe.

“You’re lucky you weren’t a necklace already, you know that? How did I end up finding the stupidest of humans?” Argnuk would lament. Perhaps it was because of the days I had spent trusting him to watch my back, but it was obvious enough for me to see he wasn’t being mean, just dramatic.

“What haven’t I been turned into?” I joked. If I hadn’t been paying attention I would’ve crashed right into the huge creature, who had came to a sudden stop. “What, what is it?”

“What did you just say?” Argnuk peered at me. 

“Well, in the past three days, you’ve told me I would have been turned into a necklace, a toothpick, a pair of shoes, a sidewalk, a warning to other foolish humans, et cetera, et cetera. You orcs must be pretty resourceful to turn one measly human into all of that.” He just stared at me. Finally he huffed.

“Stupid enough to make fun of an orc? I thought you kept saying you were a smart human.” Argnuk began walking again. 

“Oh come! That was funny Argnuk!” If his pace quickened just enough that I had to jog to keep up with him, then I suppose I deserved it…

***

We eventually stopped a few hours before sunset. In silence, we gathered our materials for a fire, and set up in a small clearing. As I stoked the fire, Argnuk went off to hunt whatever he decided we needed to eat that day. I had told him multiple times I was more than willing to share my milkbread with him, but taking one look at my rations and he snorted, saying that he wouldn’t have fed that to a beggar. 

If someone had told me when I set off on this adventure that I would somehow befriend an orc who begrudgingly liked me, I would have thought they had lost their mind. But here I was, eating boar next to a creature that looked almost like a humanized version of a boar. Of course, I would never tell him that. But it was true!

“Hey Argnuk?” He grunted at me. “Where are we headed? You’ve just sort of been leading me around the past few days. You’re not just taking me deeper in just to dump me are you?” He grunted again, he seemed to like to do that.

“Thought about it.”

“Hey!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking. We had to get out of orc territory, now we’re going to get a map.”

“A map?” I looked at him incredulously. “There’s a map of the woods?” He glared at me again like I was stupid, which I was beginning to think was just his natural expression.

“Were you planning to just walk around and meet people that won’t kill you immediately?” Alright, maybe he had a fair point. My silence was answer enough. “I know someone who might have what we need.” 

I nodded, letting the information sink in.

***

The next morning we stood in front of a thatch hovel, that I wouldn’t have noticed if not for the dark red door. Argnuk turned to me. 

“Two rules: Don’t try to haggle, and don’t look her in the eye.” With that, he turned and banged on the door, leaving me with little time to prepare before the wrinkliest old goblin I had ever seen swung open the door.

“Argnuk! Hmph, what do you want?” She turned to me, “And what the hell is that?”

“It’s my pet human Ohi, you can’t have her—”

“Hey!” I squaked. 

“—Anyway, I need something.” Argnuk continued, not even pausing for my interruption. The old goblin grumbled to herself but opened the door wider, a silent invitation. We followed her into the hovel.

Inside was another world itself. What was a simple thatch hut from the outside looked more like a cavern once you stepped inside. I had heard of goblin’s caves being filled to the brim with things, but nothing could have prepared me for the stacks upon stacks of everything under the sun.

She led us further into her cave before coming up to a beautifully carved desk. Hopping into the overstuffed chair that didn’t match at all, she turned to glare at us before reaching down on the other side of the chair. Argnuk and I watched her from the other end of the desk. She slammed the first item on the desk. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought it was a taxidermied spider-monkey head.  
“This is Jotzy. He didn’t pay me for his glass eye, so I took his head. If you throw it in the river, it’ll scream all the way downstream.” I thought I was going to be sick. Looking at the two of us, she must have decided this wasn’t what we were looking for. She chucked the head behind her and reached down again.

This time, she slammed a small box with dials and some black mesh on it. She smiled at it.

“Ah this is a good one. I got it from an orc, who stole it from a fae, who won it from a vampyr, who took it from his dinner. Called it a...“radyo.” Haven’t figured out what the hell it does yet. If this doesn’t interest you I hav—”

“Ohi, we’re lookin’ for a map of the woods. Got anything like that?” Argnuk asked, still staring off towards where poor Jotzy was now lying. The old goblin got a wicked gleam in her eye.

“And what would you pay me for it? Lots of people want my maps. Why the hell would I give it to your ugly orc arse? What can you do for me?”

“I—”

“I can work the radio.” I interrupted before Argnuk could begin his deliberations. Argnuk turned to glare at me. The wicked gleam in Ohi’s eye got even stronger.

“Oh?” She cackled, her missing teeth on full display. “I like this human Argnuk, sure I can’t have it?”

“No,” Argnuk grunted. “She does stupid things, you wouldn’t like her.”

“Hey!” 

“Ok human, show me how this radyo works, and I’ll give you my map.”

Soon enough we were on our way, with a map in my rucksack, and the horror that was Ohi “shaking her shawl” to Frank Sinatra permanently scorched into our brains.


End file.
